I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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