hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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