just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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