Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize