what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
