I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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