So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's just like the Real World with babies
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
