I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize