So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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