She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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