i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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