whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
