I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
