Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
