I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
