two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
