i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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