Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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