My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
