That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
