I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
