Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
