Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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