yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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