But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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