i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
