I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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