no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
