I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
