I smell stomach acid.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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