I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
