I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Text me some of your sweat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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