By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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