we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
