fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
