No, you can still breathe under the balls.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
