Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
