my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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