That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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