Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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