How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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