Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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