Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
