it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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