HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
