You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
