I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
