the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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