apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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