Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
