Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
