He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
