I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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