Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
