Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
