sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
