ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
