Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
whose ass print is on the piano?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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