Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
