OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
