there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
