I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize