OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
